you had me at hello

on the real, i know your situation and i understand it completely. But you gotta understand why i'm doing this to you, its not because i want you to suffer, no. Its because i want you to know what you're really gona lose if you ACTUALLY lose me in the end if i gave you that one more chance. Honestly, i never told you to wait, do what you gotta do even though i know you're not going to. Its hard for me, i think you know that. I just don't want try to take another risk and getting hurt again and i'll look like a fool knowing that i should never gave it to you. All my decisions are not even certain to this point. There's alot of unsure things with my answers, you made it hard for me. Yeah, i want my time, let me. You decide to wait, but don't expect me to say something. But i'll tell you one thing for sure, that i'll go to you whether i already lost you or not, whether you don't want me or not, Ima go to you. Maybe, if you don't want me back, i'll probably fight for you, but sooner or later you know me i'll give in and start to respect it. I love you so much, people know that i care about you so much. Crying isnt gona make things better, i gotta do what i need for myself also though not what you need but i what i need. You and I need to know that for eachother. I push myself away from you because i don't wana deal or talk about what's going between you and i, you already know i've yelled at you not to even talk about it because i don't wana think about it. I feel like i've been missing something part of me.. i loook our pictures, it fuckin sucks, seriously. Yeah i know i need you and you need me, but i most def need alot of time and space and all of that stuff, yes its a permanently a break up. All your homies from what you say to me, that i'll come back, i won't leave you. I wont leave you but I'm unsure if i'll come back. There's alot of things going through my head and its all about you. What do i want?! Should i still be with him?! What do i need to do to make my self statisfied, happy & etc.?! I need to learn to think about myself, not just for you or for us about ME.

i have alot to think about still, there's alot on my mind, still. I wana go to Homecoming with you but like i said, but i don't even know i really should go anyways, im so fed up, im sick of my life. I'm tired of having a stressful life. It's so fustrating.

Just you know, let things be. I know for a fact i won't make you wait too long, trust me. you'll know when.