just breathe

There's always a matter of stressful situations in every person but for me, i never had so much in my head. I try to face it but i can see myself backing down from it and let it take over me. I never really imagine if i was in the position i am right now and i can't even face it and manage it on my own...i need someone to help me get through but the people that i ask, i always just wanted adivce,opinions&othaaa stuff. i want to learn to do it on my own, forreals this time. i need to get this right.

There's part of me where i just let things go, or i just let it stick to me and i feel like im doing something wrong when really i'm not. i do what i want and when i want, who gives a fuck on what i do? right. my decisions. there's things like i shouldn't even do because i was hurt and yet, am i going to go back because i need to know if that thing really changed? if HE really changed? since he is basically losing me, already. He realizes i guess alot more since this whole break up. Yeah, i didn't takee the opportunity when he wanted that second chance, that he was going to forgive me, but forreals?! you didn't take THOSE OPPORTUNITIES,THOSE CHANCES,& THOSE ADVANTAGES when you had that perfect chance to redeem yourself to me all this time. and what you do? you just basically i guess expect me to give you another chance. THATS NOT THE CASE anymore.

i didn't break you're heart, you broke mine. you say i broke your heart because i decided to break up and thats when you started to become weak.. yeah, im sorry but you obviously don't know that my heart was already broken in pieces and i was expecting you to put it back together by taking those chances! prove me right and prove everyone else wrong! yeah, i know you don't give a fuck about everyone else, but SOMETIMES everyone are two of my bestfriends.

My bestfriends, just care enough. ONE OF THEM tried helping you're ass out. she tried convincing me to still stay with you or go back to you, but obviously it just went the opposite direction from all this. i just don't know.

i'm certain sometimes about you, but i'm doubting the certainty about you.. it makes me sad because usually in the beginning with you, i was MOST DEF. CERTAIN about you til' now it isnt the answer i wanted..not the way i thought things would be..

i do want to come back, but i'm uncertain..