i gotta stay

on my grind cos its my time.

obviously im kind of a failure in life not enitrely but education wise. like why?! honestly, maybe i should start changing my actions cos this is bullshit if you think about when things can be so much better if i jus change my actions towards things, things would much easier for me and for everyone else. i'd be more happy and more statisfied with life. yknow. i mean i can't stand it anymore, building up failure then stress out in the end when, if you think about it you're not gona reach it, only if you're jus really good at it. time to change up my actions, i can't stick to jus building up failures then stress out, no i wana build up successful and not stress out, senior year seriously, i need to pull through cos if i do, i can really think about things later on in life, if i wasn't so fuckin lazy, i think about other things thats so stupid and not even neccessary when it comes to REAL important things in life others are jus there like a prize for you to look forward to you. i don't know, i jus really need to stop being lazy ass fuck! seriously. i need to get back on the grind where i use to do everything so well. bleh. im so full of disappointment in myself like i don't even know anymore how am i suppose to live up and jus stand there knowing okay, i barely got there but its okay, no its not cos sooner or later it will get to you and you won't be barely there and it happened to me..surprisely and shocking. i'm not even proud anymore, i use to think its okay you have next year, this fuckin' realitly. there's no more next year, either i do it right or yknow jus forget it. i need, i must DO IT RIGHT to get where i wana get to. eh..

venting venting thas all it takes.