fuck it im still learning

problems problems problems thats all i have. worries,concerns,emotions,im fragile. damn im something. drama free- hell to the motha fcukin no. there's always something wrong with me when i stay out of problems it comes to me when im in one its ten times bad as i thought it would be. i do wha'ts best for myself well at least im trying to learn that. i can't stand the fact that i always have to be the bad guy that opens her mouth and say wha'ts on her mind, i guess ITS AN OPINION it doesn't matter anymore nothing does. im was jus trying to get things cleared and get it out of my systems sorry i got you in it but youre not even in ANYTHING. your opinions your thoughts whose gona judge? i guess whatever. yknow i'll let you cool off like someone says 'it'll die down', fsho i'll believe that shit.
i try everyday not to listen to everyone else to make my decision can i at least do what i want?! please! thats all i want cos i take shit from everyone someone tell me this and tell me its wrong or someone telling me things and its right wtf?! stop with it. can someone tell me its okay to go what you feel and it will be okay with them? without being like "she's so shady,she's stupid" whatever all that bad mouthing shit, its prolly the worst that i can hear. i do everything i can do whats right for me, i know i can chose what's right for myself yes i know myabe it was 'hyped' fuck it, its done with alright? i don't need shit again don't slip. kay? maybe it wont happen? fuck that shit! be straight up im not here to play a dumb game. im over with it and done with, so stfu go have fun.

you love me and i love you, i guess both of us are just putting the negatives aside now. i know i put you through shit i just needed space that's all i was asking not for the fact im asking you to let go. i was NEVEREVER going to let go. even tho it seemed like it. maybe its my period, and it prolly was in this case. i mean i was never my intention to put you through something like this, it really wasnt. its just that i wanted to make sure of alot of things, trust me. there's alot of things going through my head that no one else knows about. i just want to do something thats right for MYSELF not for you not for my girls not for my bestfriends not for the people that think this and that FOR ME. and i chose to be with you, well hopefully. im jus trying to face the fact that im just being put into place in this kina situation with someone and see what i would do to make the right choice, i don't know if that made anysense but it made sense to me. TOMORROW, new day new WEEK please start and end good!