fuck it im still learning

problems problems problems thats all i have. worries,concerns,emotions,im fragile. damn im something. drama free- hell to the motha fcukin no. there's always something wrong with me when i stay out of problems it comes to me when im in one its ten times bad as i thought it would be. i do wha'ts best for myself well at least im trying to learn that. i can't stand the fact that i always have to be the bad guy that opens her mouth and say wha'ts on her mind, i guess ITS AN OPINION it doesn't matter anymore nothing does. im was jus trying to get things cleared and get it out of my systems sorry i got you in it but youre not even in ANYTHING. your opinions your thoughts whose gona judge? i guess whatever. yknow i'll let you cool off like someone says 'it'll die down', fsho i'll believe that shit.
i try everyday not to listen to everyone else to make my decision can i at least do what i want?! please! thats all i want cos i take shit from everyone someone tell me this and tell me its wrong or someone telling me things and its right wtf?! stop with it. can someone tell me its okay to go what you feel and it will be okay with them? without being like "she's so shady,she's stupid" whatever all that bad mouthing shit, its prolly the worst that i can hear. i do everything i can do whats right for me, i know i can chose what's right for myself yes i know myabe it was 'hyped' fuck it, its done with alright? i don't need shit again don't slip. kay? maybe it wont happen? fuck that shit! be straight up im not here to play a dumb game. im over with it and done with, so stfu go have fun.

you love me and i love you, i guess both of us are just putting the negatives aside now. i know i put you through shit i just needed space that's all i was asking not for the fact im asking you to let go. i was NEVEREVER going to let go. even tho it seemed like it. maybe its my period, and it prolly was in this case. i mean i was never my intention to put you through something like this, it really wasnt. its just that i wanted to make sure of alot of things, trust me. there's alot of things going through my head that no one else knows about. i just want to do something thats right for MYSELF not for you not for my girls not for my bestfriends not for the people that think this and that FOR ME. and i chose to be with you, well hopefully. im jus trying to face the fact that im just being put into place in this kina situation with someone and see what i would do to make the right choice, i don't know if that made anysense but it made sense to me. TOMORROW, new day new WEEK please start and end good!

better yet, better tomorrow

maybe i am being a alot selfish then i thought i am. i really think i need to learn to care even tho i do, i just want my feelings to show to you and know that you care what i feel. feelings are feeelings, i care about yours but it doesn't matter. expressing every feelings towards someone will open their eyes,it already opened mine. yeah im a little too much for two people to handle. in this im just a little immature, i just wana handle my own shit, maybe i should stop going around and make things work for myself and quit hurting or hurting myself. i know ive been hella hardheaded but i like to do what i want and learn to be independent. yes i know youre always going to be right buut you know im always gona have something to say, my mouth will just say shit. my feeelings have beeen puzzled fustrated days without thinking through things.. fuuuuuck my life period.

2years.

fuckbitches (:
MUAHAHAH fuck that shit. you know what i meaaaaaaan?

thoughts

fustrated week with all the non sense the gibberish we've been giving eachother. i don't know all i wanted is to know if i still wanted to be with you.. but iguess im going to stay around to stay and see what happpens later on in this relationshp. i love you and i wouldn't want to give up on us.



sigh.

go aheaad

go aheaad i take shit from everyone anyways, seriously it's really NOT a big deal to me cos i really don't give a fuck.
YES I FUCKIN' DO! i take from everyone cos honestly, i really don't care but then i really do. yeah im fragile my feeligns can just hurt without even showing it or you'll just know..


now.. im jus fuckin' unhappy but go ahead give me shit cos i take the shit in anyways..

reuniteed and it feels so goood

"REUNITED and it feeels so goood.."

Mariel's birthday became her birthday wish like she said she hoped everything will be fine by her birthday and it did! thankgod! it was amazing when everything jus went from bad to good. ITS JMDtime,niggaas :) plus the fact her birfday was an AMAZING day except the fact i got TAG from ms.han but its okay cos eman got tagged muahah but this week was stressful week cos of the researchpapers,notecards and this weekend is a researchpaper-FREEWEEKEND but next three weeeks its gona be hell for me. cos i'll be busy doing this and doing that..-___-my life is full of somethaang but sometimes goodthaangs that i'd apperciate (:

oh btw, xjanelliiieee (8:14:14 PM): if i did move you would MISS ME. soo shh hahahahah

Hiimatth3w (8:14:24 PM): kind of

[my cousin does love me (:]

march babies&&thegoods.

HAPPY BIRFDAY ,bestfriends<3!
the goods (: my girls are baack we both dropped everything which im proud of. everything is wheere we suppose to be. everything went back to NORMAL the girl talk the pictures the LOUDNESS came back.the boys are happy now 'aww,you guys are goood now?' or 'wait when did this happen?' yeaah stfu! we knew that all of us would come around.

happy MARCH (:

mm. so this weekend ive been kina busy for once. HAH yay for me. (: friday- went to schoool,it was whatevers. i went to the nurses during 5th jus because i felt like it AND i had cramps and while i was up there cesar came telling me i don't talk to him blablah. (: its okay his still a homeboy even tho we've been through alot lastyear. then jaron and carlo telling me and mariel to give danielle a hug, but we didn't. yes its still going on. but i still have a bestfriend,no matter what. then afterschool i went home rested it up cos i was hella tired i wanted to sleep but i didn't cos i had to get ready and i was starting to get lazy for mariels dinner. we were ALL an HOUR LATE for our reservations at BJ'S fuckin shit. sat there for 3mothafuckinhours. wtf?! but we ended up at cheesecake factory OH MY! THE BESTFOOOD EVER. i didn't want to leave but i had to get home. baby brought me home but we had to pick up his 'babies' or check up on them. then i was taking care of kevin my little brother gooodgahd. [: HAHA then went home. saturday - UNEXPECTEDLY, i was going to BEAUmont for family thing? but no one didn'tknow why we were there for. but we ate had cousin bondings "amazing" and "dropping" and stuff haha and also eating yum! taking peectures but i was there til late cos my dad was playing poker but he was EVEN since we had to go. sunday - i really don't know what's goin on.. weird vibe with him when i just started talking to him today, honestly. i think its either im so tired, or something. i'll talk to him in a little i jus neeeda know what's wrong with me. but today RESTDAYNAPDAY. haven't had a nap in a while. [: amazing. now school tomorrow FML. on the real.