trying to decide..

so basicallcally this weeek was ACTUALLY good yeah i kina still was bitching but fuck it. [: haha
whoops for my cussing. i caught myself smiling for the weirdest reason, like lately i haven't smiled like that in a long time i really wonder why? (: even my bestfriend,eman caught me. teehee. soo much this weeek.
i don't like it how boys can jus keeep making crap up jus to make a girl look like the badguy in the relationship. that's something i don't wana hear. especially it is someone i care and watching someone breaking down over it. i know tears aren't worth crap for a boy, buut sometimes they do cause they keep you happy. fighting for something and putting up with it, tells me that your strong and youre gona be there no matter. and THATS SOMETHING boys should do sometimes fight for something that YOU WANT.

i saw uhleesuh and we toook ayat of pictures. texting allday,talking alot night. [: thats my typa shit i miss. uggh! caaause YOU SOO SICK! hahahah [: thannks for the compliment. what a good weeek yahh i think so and that NEXT WEEEK three days and half. 2008 ima end it with a good ending.

causing too much stress..

sometimes i don't even know why i stress too much over stupid little things. i think too much of everythingg..seriously, ive fucked up and i don't know why im still feeeling this way.. do i have the right too? cas its been soo long and i don't know whats really going on for me.
lately, i thought to myself and i jus realized that im so unstable, i don't know what i want, what to do, what to really think. I JUS DONT KNOW. i like to help myself to fix my problems i want it to be MY ONLY CONCERNS...ive jus been acting up soo much and its beeen a month wtf is wrong with me? why can't i jus live my own life. i do shit that i don't even do anymore. im so mad at myself for being this way when i can happy and jus live up my life.

but everything seems to be falling apart for me, especially for me. people in my life mean alot, i know ive been bitchy buut what can i do. it's been a month since ive been like this i don't know what to say to myself anymore. im more quiet not more OH HEY SUP typa thing.. i asked myself what's really going on with me? but i seriously, dont know. i got my girls all day everyday and they ARE REALLY HAPPY! annd i hope their HAPPINESS won't give me any reason to not approve anymore. but i totally doubt iit, they goood and im happy that they have someone to be with me and jus be HAPPY with no fuckin shit goinn on.. sorry ladies im protective over you BITCHES [: i do soo much haha..

shits beeen hard but what can i say if i can fix up my life i know i can be strong on my own..

nothing to say..
what can i say anymore? what can i say to you? you did it again aasking it TOO fast again. like its not that i wouldn't try it but the thing is i don't wana try anymore.. im sick of being scared and sick of being played like a foool.. i did it once and i don't know if im ready for something. like your CHILL but you his homie.. i understand if he don't want me back buut i think it isnt right. i love you fool no matter what, your fuckin fun and an ass [: but you know i don't wana get hurt and i don't want you to get hurt either..it jus sucks that you were ONLY AROUND to "See what happens" did anything happen yet? your jus here because of that? you can't jus be here cas we can be JUSFRIENDS? really?! thats what kina gets me upset the MOST.
what can i say now? i don't wana jus drop this friendship cas we gotten real close..
its jus..i can't say anything cas really im jus unstabled with everything, like i said i don't know what i want..